Unpacking Bisexual Erasure, Invisibility & Stigma
In honor of Bisexual Visibility Day, let’s start off with some bisexual myth busting…
Bisexual people ARE:
- Diverse & multidimensional
- Often invisible
- Underrepresented / Frequently misrepresented
- Stigmatized in both straight and queer circles
- Important members of the LGBTQIA+ community
Bisexual people are NOT:
- All confused, “just seeking attention”, or on their way to being gay
- All non-monogamous & seeking threesomes
- All allosexual and hyper-sexual
- All unreliable / untrustworthy / flight-risks
Bisexual erasure is all about the default lenses we look through when we see people engaging in a romantic way.
People tend to make automatic assumptions about these interactions, assuming the gender of each party involved as well as the sexual orientation of those people based on the gender conclusions made.
When we see what we assume to be a man and a woman in a romantic relationship we tend to call the relationship “straight”, and we are likely to assume both people in the relationship are heterosexual.
When we see what we assume to be two men or two women in a romantic relationship we tend to call the relationship “gay” or “lesbian”, and we assume the parties involved are gay or lesbian as well.
When we see queer, nonbinary people and gender diverse people in a romantic relationship we might call the relationship “queer”, and use the same terminology to describe the assumed sexual orientation of the people involved.
NOTICE, we don’t tend to assume anyone is BISEXUAL, and we hardly ever
refer to relationships as “BISEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS”
And yet, due to various polls and resources, bisexuals represent a MAJORITY of the queer community! There’s a lot more to say about the stigma that bisexual people face (stay tuned for more posts this week…) but let’s pause for a moment and reflect on how problematic it is for the queer community as a whole that over half of its members are invisible.
LET’S DO BETTER.
Our assumptions may be automatic, but that doesn’t mean we can’t practice changing and challenging them. The next time you find yourself jumping to the conclusion that someone is straight or gay based on who they are getting cozy with, consider that they may be bisexual or pansexual and attracted to an assortment of genders!
Start to familiarize yourself with all of the different ways bisexual and pansexual people and relationships can appear.
Expand your mind outside of a gay/ straight binary … there’s a LOT more variety in the LGBTQIA+ community than meets the eye!
Many bisexual people are straight-passing, meaning, they are regularly assumed to be heterosexual due to their physical appearance and the appearance of their romantic partner.
In a society where the LGBTQIA+ community is regularly stigmatized, targeted and oppressed, being straight-passing is a privilege.
Straight-passing people generally worry less about being attacked due to their queer identity, and don’t have to deal with the automatic othering other queer people battle day to day in predominantly straight spaces.
That said, straight-passing privilege is a backhanded one. Straight-passing people often don’t feel comfortable or welcome in queer spaces.
Consider the impact. Consider what it means when a significant portion of the LGBTQIA+ community doesn’t feel like they belong in queer spaces, or in the community at all?
If you are an invisible, straight-passing bisexual or pansexual person, know this: YOU ARE QUEER ENOUGH.
You may be the recipient of bisexual erasure and biphobia, but these are not your demons to fight. Stop protecting other queer people from working through their biphobia. TAKE UP SPACE.
Bisexuality looks STUNNING on you. Let it shine!
Bisexual stigma, just like bisexual people, comes in a variety of forms. Bisexual men face different challenges than bisexual women, which differ from the challenges bisexual genderqueer and nonbinary people face. Race, physical and intellectual ability, socioeconomic class and other social factors add to the diverse experiences that bisexual people face.
One of the oppressive experiences many bisexual people share, is the experience of being othered in both heterosexual and homosexual circles. It is common for bisexual people to be over-sexualized in straight crowds while simultaneously being othered and invalidated in queer spaces.
Aside from it being generally problematic to face social stigma, being cast out of both the queer and straight communities means having no community to exist within.
Change that narrative. Lead with acceptance.
Bisexual people are needed. Bisexual people are valuable. Bisexual people’s sexuality is exquisitely beautiful.
Let’s help them feel that way.
#bisexual #pansexual #pansexuality #bisexuality #bisexualerasure #bisexualvisibility #bipride
